Laughing at My Future

The students working diligently. So proud of them. Today was our first day of school. Olivia is in 7th grade, Cecilia is in 5th, and Micah is in 3rd, and my goodness is this. mama. tired . No matter how much planning goes into the year, each school day has its own ebb and flow and even the most successful of days can drain a mama at times. Or a dad. Or both. Feel encouraged yet? No? Okay, let me start again. This will be my eighth year of homeschooling one or more of my kids, and to be honest, I'm pretty sure if I were to tally it up, I have logged a lot more failures than successes. In the day-to-day, and even sometimes year-to-year operations, I have spent many a day feeling like I just needed to put myself in timeout for an undetermined amount of time until I could come out with a better attitude because Lord knows I certainly wasn't helping anything when my tantrum over long division matched theirs! (Look, sometimes it's healthy to admit your occasional {read: freq...

Photo Credit: Terri Corbett 2020. Wow. This year took the turn that no one saw coming. Life has been flipped upside down on all of us, and left us questioning, reprioritizing, and altering every aspect of our lives. Being forced to define what is and isn't essential - or rather, having someone else's definition of that forced upon us - has caused most of us to see our lives with a whole new set of glasses. And honestly, I hope we never go back. I hope we never go back to forgetting just how vital our first responders and medical community are.   No matter how you feel about the necessity of certain medications, vaccines, or practices, we have seen these incredible people putting their own lives as second priority in a spotlight they've never before been given. Modern medicine has become a crutch, and those in the field have moved into something we barely give second thought to, let alone take time to appreciate and even more, actually thank.  We as a society have taken for ...

Time for a quick, very real chat. I'm currently sitting at my messy dining room table, surrounded by piles of clutter that needs to be tossed or put away, looking up at a kitchen that needs to be cleaned. This is what my house has become in a very chaotic couple of weeks. A deeper look tells me that it's not just the chaos of rehearsal season, homeschooling, or just life in general - however, a deeper look tells me it's a character thing, and one that needs to change starting NOW. Starting yesterday, really. Sure there is the clutter of this week's school pages, and dishes from breakfast and lunch. There are the shoes that got worn and thrown off in a rush to move on to the next activity of the day. BUT, there are also piles of books I simply haven't gone through, put away, gotten rid of... read . There is a tote overflowing crochet projects that are partially done. There are decorations lying out waiting to be arranged, and clorox wipes that simply never got pu...

Today I served on our worship team for the morning services. I've been serving in this department in one capacity or another for over 20 years, and it's one of the greatest joys for me. I LOVE worship. I love singing. I love our team. And yet... One of the reasons I so easily fell in love with worship was that I was raised very closely to it. My daddy was on a worship team for basically my entire life until he passed away. Even after he got sick, even after he'd been through multiple rounds of chemo, he still faithfully served. It was something we did together and it made it mean all that much more to me. I'll never forget the first time I went on to lead worship after he passed away; I nearly didn't make it to the stage. It caused me physical pain to be up there without him at least in the building. Or alive. It took my breath away, and for many months - years, really - there would be moments where I experienced that same overwhelming sense of loss. I...

One of these days I'm going to sit down to type out what's on my heart, and it's going to be the wittiest, most lighthearted piece of blogging literature you've ever read. Maybe. In my dreams anyway. Not today. A few months ago I was in my bible reading plan, and somehow managed to simultaneously hit on the story of Gideon (in the Old Testament) and the story of the father asking Jesus to heal his son (in the New Testament). I've read both of those passages over and over again over the years, but something about them being presented to me in the same day just jarred me to the core in the best way. I've wanted/needed to sit down and write this for awhile but haven't quite been able to get my words out. But today I'll lay it out as simply as I can, real, rather than perfect. So these two stories: In the Old Testament, Gideon was selected by God to lead a charge against an enemy. He was scared. He doubted himself, and I think maybe he was a little uncer...

I've come to discover that the most frustrating thing in the world as a writer isn't necessarily a flat-out writer's block, but rather having a zillion words in your mind and the complete inability to get them down on paper. I can't tell you how many countless times this has happened to me in my book-writing journey. In my mind, I've practically finished, not just the book I'm currently working on, but the entire series! On paper? On my computer? I think I've succeeded in putting down maybe 25,000 words, tops? (For reference, I've found the best way for myself to make it through the editing process is to submit a manuscript that is between 85 and 100 thousand words.) So yeah, I'm not making much progress. And it is driving me insane! This year in our homeschooling, all three of my girls are at a charter school working with their teacher for a solid 3 hour block every single week. And at first I didn't even know what I was going to do with mysel...

  This is my Olivia Jane. She's almost 10, and most of the time has more energy and excitement than a solid dozen of me. My sister-in-law and I used to say that she could be enthusiasm for hire. Sure, when we're in the middle of adding and subtracting fractions, or that dreaded long division, she's not necessarily that happiest of children, but let's be honest here, not many are at that point. ;) In general, though, this girl is the personification of " joie de vie,"  or "joy of life." Sometimes it's aggravating, but in general, it's inspiring. My incredibly talented sister-in-law shot this. You should check her out! www.crystellemariephotography.com Enter the "tween" years, and all the fun life lessons that come with them. All of the sudden, my sweet, happy, tender-hearted girl has discovered meanness. And don't get me wrong, I'm not only saying she's fallen victim to it, but she's also turned it around on o...

There are many popular terms circulating these days describing friendship or a group of one's close friends - tribe, village, squad, and I'm sure several others that I'm not hip enough to know (or use - fam, anybody?). My preferred term these days is tribe. If you follow me on social media, you see it a lot. Ballet tribe. Mom tribe. Homeschool tribe. And you know why I like to use it? Because for me, it's the most accurate. When I think of the word "tribe," I think of a large group of people, some related by blood, but all related by location, purpose, and life itself. They work together to support each other, help each other succeed, celebrate wins, mourn losses, and laugh through the tears in the nitty gritty. They go to war together when something or someone is trying to invade one of their own, and together they fight (in whatever capacity they're able to) until it's over. This  is what tribe means to me, and this is why I've chosen it as my ...

Oh hey there, remember me? The one who keeps promising to be better at this blogging thing...but isn't? Well, I'm back. Again. And I'm going to try. Again. (Side note: my hubby has positively ruined  the term 'try' because he's a Star Wars freak and will continually quote Yoda if the girls or I say the word. If you don't know what I mean, I urge you to look it up. Warning though, you can't unsee it. Ugh.) Let's be honest here - I'm an author. Well, an aspiring author. Technically, a one-time, self-published, hoping-for-more, aspiring author. And this type of writing (blogging), which I feel like I'm supposed to working on is a lot different than the type of writing I'd like to be working on (fiction/novels). And it's way  more difficult. After all, if you read enough books - campy, trendy, thrilling, uber-formulaic novels or true classics - if you read enough, you can write a work of fiction. It might not be a NYT best seller, but...

Homeschool with the Carricks, Day 2. Fun "1st Day of School" pictures can happen later, but for now I want to focus on this moment. Because it is about as perfect as it's going to get.  • This year I'm teaching all three of our girls, kindergarten, 2nd, and 4th grades. And I'm about as nervous as can be. Because last year was HARD. Way harder than I ever thought it could be, at least in elementary grades. We pressed on, but not necessarily joyfully, and it was difficult and stressful and joy-depleting. Time for an attitude adjustment for Crystle!! I KNOW that this is the life I'm called to, and I'm LIVING it, so where is my thankfulness? My children are bright and beautiful and capable, and love to learn, so why am I stripping them of that love just because it doesn't look like it did in my mind?  • This was not the formula for success, and it had to change. So I prayed for a new love and excitement for teaching, a new vision for our home i...

Today was a banner day in this Carrick household. We woke up late. Well, I didn't, but I was slow going and my children wouldn't. wake. up. My oldest daughter was 5 minutes late for her last summer intensive ballet class (on the day promotions were scheduled to come out so she really didn't want to mess up). My youngest was still sleeping when I put her, pajama-clad, into the car, hastily grabbing some clothes to change her into once we'd arrived and found our right minds. Fast forward ten minutes: I drop my daughter off at ballet, and head to get gas, while my youngest is in hysterics because she doesn't want regular clothes, just her sleeper, and she's hungry and tired and " just wants my iPad for a minute! " Fast forward again, 15 minutes later, and she's contentedly munching on a banana, we're finally headed back to the studio...and I realize I grabbed everything for her but shoes. And now we don't have enough time to go back to the...

Confession... Each year, I try to read the whole Bible in the calendar year (Jan. 1-Dec. 31), and for the last several years, I've succeeded. This year I did not; when that clock struck 2016, I still had nine days on my reading plan left. And you know what? Thanks to the encouraging words of a friend's blog post (read here if you want), I decided that I would just keep reading it into the new year until I had completed it. (Which I did on the 2nd, woohoo! Check one goal for the new year off already.) ;) Anyway, one of the last things I read about in this plan was the meeting up of Jesus and Zacchaeus, and for some reason, it struck a new chord with me. I think that must be one of THE FIRST Bible stories you actually remember in Sunday school (sing the song with me, anyone?), and honestly I've probably heard a sermon or four preached on it over the years, and yet...and YET, this year, this time, this reading, I got something fresh. I honestly LOVE that about the Holy Sp...

Well, as usual I'd love to promise that this will be a short post, but let's be honest - they rarely are. I'm a wordy girl, what can I say? Someone told me that it's for a reason and to just go with it, so you're welcome. :) Anyway, this morning I was reading my bible and a passage really struck a chord within me. While this isn't an infrequent occurrence, I don't usually share. Today I felt compelled to. "...We were crushed and overwhelmed beyond our ability to endure, and we thought we would never live through it. In fact, we expected to die. But as a result, we stopped relying on ourselves and learned to rely only on God, who raises the dead. And He did rescue us from mortal danger, and He will rescue us again. We have placed our confidence in Him, and He will continue to rescue us."        - 1 Corinthians 1:8-10 Over that last several years, I've walked through some very difficult times. The pressure, stress, and pain seemed almost s...

I don't know where to begin. First of all, can I just say that it's been WAY too long since I sat down to write? I realize that it's my fault, but admitting it is the first step, right? ;) Anyway, since it has been such a long time, this is kind of like starting all over again, and frankly, I'm a little nervous. So here I go anyway. I've preached it for a long time, and really have believed it to the best of my capacity each time, that God doesn't do anything by mistake or coincidence. I do believe that He orchestrates everything. That isn't to say (or open up dialog to say) that He orchestrates disasters or death by man's hand at all, but that He isn't unaware of what is going on and He isn't absent from it if we reach out to Him. That is what the Bible says is true, that is what I've always believed to be true, and that is what I've found proven to be true in my own life. To put it as simply as a wordy girl like myself can: If you co...

This afternoon I laid my girls down for their naps and was straightening the house and felt the Lord download something into me with such force that in all truth I had to sit down and pray right then and there. And now I am here, to share it with you, in hopes that you will find it as encouraging as I did. Our oldest daughter, Olivia, just turned 5 this summer. She is bright, beautiful, sweet, and loves life in general, finding no greater joy than in the happiness of those around her, and in the Lord. Lately, she has hit some pretty big milestones, one of them being voluntary  assistance around the house. She likes to set the table, help put away the dishes, make the beds, fold the towels when they come out of the dryer, all these things and many more. Being 5, her joy and willingness to do this is still more on her terms and timing than ours, but we're learning to work with it, and 'take advantage' of and encourage her in it when presented. This being said, my home is ...

Right now it is just after one in the morning, making us officially an hour into Father's Day. And just a few hours ago, it had been officially been 6 weeks since my father, my daddy, left us and went to be with our Heavenly Father. 6 of the shortest, as well as longest, weeks of my life. To be honest, it's a lot to deal with sometimes, even now. And yet, as I sit here in this moment, I'm not overcome with tears and grief, but rather with peace; even more so, with a certain thankfulness in my heart that cannot be explained, and definitely cannot be removed. I've been wondering for the last couple of weeks about this first Father's Day without my daddy - how it would feel, how I would do. And of course it will be different a bit I'm sure, as I go to bed, wake up, and actually start the day. But for now, I'm good, and I'm glad. I had a minor breakdown in Target the other day, while looking through the Father's Day cards. My sister and I were pickin...