Laughing at My Future

Time for a quick, very real chat. I'm currently sitting at my messy dining room table, surrounded by piles of clutter that needs to be tossed or put away, looking up at a kitchen that needs to be cleaned. This is what my house has become in a very chaotic couple of weeks. A deeper look tells me that it's not just the chaos of rehearsal season, homeschooling, or just life in general - however, a deeper look tells me it's a character thing, and one that needs to change starting NOW. Starting yesterday, really. Sure there is the clutter of this week's school pages, and dishes from breakfast and lunch. There are the shoes that got worn and thrown off in a rush to move on to the next activity of the day. BUT, there are also piles of books I simply haven't gone through, put away, gotten rid of... read . There is a tote overflowing crochet projects that are partially done. There are decorations lying out waiting to be arranged, and clorox wipes that simply never got pu...

Today I served on our worship team for the morning services. I've been serving in this department in one capacity or another for over 20 years, and it's one of the greatest joys for me. I LOVE worship. I love singing. I love our team. And yet... One of the reasons I so easily fell in love with worship was that I was raised very closely to it. My daddy was on a worship team for basically my entire life until he passed away. Even after he got sick, even after he'd been through multiple rounds of chemo, he still faithfully served. It was something we did together and it made it mean all that much more to me. I'll never forget the first time I went on to lead worship after he passed away; I nearly didn't make it to the stage. It caused me physical pain to be up there without him at least in the building. Or alive. It took my breath away, and for many months - years, really - there would be moments where I experienced that same overwhelming sense of loss. I...

One of these days I'm going to sit down to type out what's on my heart, and it's going to be the wittiest, most lighthearted piece of blogging literature you've ever read. Maybe. In my dreams anyway. Not today. A few months ago I was in my bible reading plan, and somehow managed to simultaneously hit on the story of Gideon (in the Old Testament) and the story of the father asking Jesus to heal his son (in the New Testament). I've read both of those passages over and over again over the years, but something about them being presented to me in the same day just jarred me to the core in the best way. I've wanted/needed to sit down and write this for awhile but haven't quite been able to get my words out. But today I'll lay it out as simply as I can, real, rather than perfect. So these two stories: In the Old Testament, Gideon was selected by God to lead a charge against an enemy. He was scared. He doubted himself, and I think maybe he was a little uncer...