I believe...but help me in my unbelief.
One of these days I'm going to sit down to type out what's on my heart, and it's going to be the wittiest, most lighthearted piece of blogging literature you've ever read. Maybe. In my dreams anyway. Not today.
A few months ago I was in my bible reading plan, and somehow managed to simultaneously hit on the story of Gideon (in the Old Testament) and the story of the father asking Jesus to heal his son (in the New Testament). I've read both of those passages over and over again over the years, but something about them being presented to me in the same day just jarred me to the core in the best way. I've wanted/needed to sit down and write this for awhile but haven't quite been able to get my words out. But today I'll lay it out as simply as I can, real, rather than perfect.
So these two stories: In the Old Testament, Gideon was selected by God to lead a charge against an enemy. He was scared. He doubted himself, and I think maybe he was a little uncertain even of God. He "put God through" (for lack of better term) a series of tests to prove Himself before finally saying yes to the call. The story goes on to describe the very miraculous victory that God gave Gideon, and is really an incredible example of how God can use the self-proclaimed 'unlikely' to accomplish His greatest victories. But that is not the point I'm hitting on today, so moving on to the New Testament. In this we see Jesus traveling with the disciples and stumbles upon a little boy who is being tortured by a spirit that no one seems to be able to cast out. The father asks Jesus to have compassion and, if He is able, to help. Jesus told him that all things are possible to him who believes, to which the father replied, "Lord, I believe, but help my unbelief!" That story goes on to tell of Jesus casting the spirit out and the little boy being healed.
Here's what jumped out at me: both of these stories involved men who were uncertain, and honest in it. They were desperately crying out to God, and yet, were real about their faith wavering just a bit. Gideon literally kept putting up hoops to jump through to prove it was the will of God, and the other guy flat out admitted he needed help with his unbelief. But the end result was their surrendering and trusting in God, and Him moving on their behalf. Two guys, struggling a bit in their faith, still saw the miraculous happen in their lives.
So how does this apply to me, or to us? I don't know about you, but sometimes I struggle a little in my ability to fully walk in faith. I don't want to, but sometimes I question. I doubt. I have to turn to God and say, "help me with my unbelief!" What these stories and so many like them tell me is that God knows! He knows we want to trust Him and that we are human and sometimes falter. But the beautiful thing is that, as our Father, He sees to the very core of us, loves us still, and as we take each step of faith, whether baby or enormous, He moves on our behalf!
I'm not here saying it's okay to not trust God, what I am saying is that sometimes we go through times where it feels a little scarier to walk by faith. We're nervous, we're afraid, we question things, we wonder if God is really going to do what He promised. We're not the first ones to feel this way, nor will we be the last, and I feel like those stories in the Bible are there to show us what it looks like
It's okay to have doubt. If you're in a tough situation where you're struggling with this today, remember that - and then remember that is ALSO okay, and even more so NECESSARY, to turn to Him, and say "I believe, but help me with my unbelief!" and see how mightily our faithful Father can move on your behalf! <3
A few months ago I was in my bible reading plan, and somehow managed to simultaneously hit on the story of Gideon (in the Old Testament) and the story of the father asking Jesus to heal his son (in the New Testament). I've read both of those passages over and over again over the years, but something about them being presented to me in the same day just jarred me to the core in the best way. I've wanted/needed to sit down and write this for awhile but haven't quite been able to get my words out. But today I'll lay it out as simply as I can, real, rather than perfect.
So these two stories: In the Old Testament, Gideon was selected by God to lead a charge against an enemy. He was scared. He doubted himself, and I think maybe he was a little uncertain even of God. He "put God through" (for lack of better term) a series of tests to prove Himself before finally saying yes to the call. The story goes on to describe the very miraculous victory that God gave Gideon, and is really an incredible example of how God can use the self-proclaimed 'unlikely' to accomplish His greatest victories. But that is not the point I'm hitting on today, so moving on to the New Testament. In this we see Jesus traveling with the disciples and stumbles upon a little boy who is being tortured by a spirit that no one seems to be able to cast out. The father asks Jesus to have compassion and, if He is able, to help. Jesus told him that all things are possible to him who believes, to which the father replied, "Lord, I believe, but help my unbelief!" That story goes on to tell of Jesus casting the spirit out and the little boy being healed.
Here's what jumped out at me: both of these stories involved men who were uncertain, and honest in it. They were desperately crying out to God, and yet, were real about their faith wavering just a bit. Gideon literally kept putting up hoops to jump through to prove it was the will of God, and the other guy flat out admitted he needed help with his unbelief. But the end result was their surrendering and trusting in God, and Him moving on their behalf. Two guys, struggling a bit in their faith, still saw the miraculous happen in their lives.
So how does this apply to me, or to us? I don't know about you, but sometimes I struggle a little in my ability to fully walk in faith. I don't want to, but sometimes I question. I doubt. I have to turn to God and say, "help me with my unbelief!" What these stories and so many like them tell me is that God knows! He knows we want to trust Him and that we are human and sometimes falter. But the beautiful thing is that, as our Father, He sees to the very core of us, loves us still, and as we take each step of faith, whether baby or enormous, He moves on our behalf!
I'm not here saying it's okay to not trust God, what I am saying is that sometimes we go through times where it feels a little scarier to walk by faith. We're nervous, we're afraid, we question things, we wonder if God is really going to do what He promised. We're not the first ones to feel this way, nor will we be the last, and I feel like those stories in the Bible are there to show us what it looks like
It's okay to have doubt. If you're in a tough situation where you're struggling with this today, remember that - and then remember that is ALSO okay, and even more so NECESSARY, to turn to Him, and say "I believe, but help me with my unbelief!" and see how mightily our faithful Father can move on your behalf! <3
"Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful." Hebrews 10:23
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