Forward motion...
Oh hey there, remember me? The one who keeps promising to be better at this blogging thing...but isn't? Well, I'm back. Again. And I'm going to try. Again. (Side note: my hubby has positively ruined the term 'try' because he's a Star Wars freak and will continually quote Yoda if the girls or I say the word. If you don't know what I mean, I urge you to look it up. Warning though, you can't unsee it. Ugh.)
Let's be honest here - I'm an author. Well, an aspiring author. Technically, a one-time, self-published, hoping-for-more, aspiring author. And this type of writing (blogging), which I feel like I'm supposed to working on is a lot different than the type of writing I'd like to be working on (fiction/novels). And it's way more difficult. After all, if you read enough books - campy, trendy, thrilling, uber-formulaic novels or true classics - if you read enough, you can write a work of fiction. It might not be a NYT best seller, but you can probably plug in one formula or another and, if you see it all the way through, have a finished story.
Non-fiction is different, especially when it's real life and personal. "Bloggers" these days have to be witty, clever, up-to-date on lingo, good writers or at least able to mimic them, and above all - vulnerable. My least. favorite. word. And yet, here I am. The few posts I have managed to get published have been, for the most part, raw, real, gut-wrenching (for me), and basically the opposite of everything I prefer. Like, what the heck? I don't want to expose it all! I'm all in for avoiding TMI other than a VERY close group of friends, so why on earth would I choose this blogger life and open up for the world to read my heart?
"Because." That's the answer to this very real, very heart-felt question of mine. Because. I'm a firm believer that we are called to certain unique purposes, and although they may change with the different seasons of our lives, it doesn't make them any less ours to fulfill. And for some odd reason, for this season of life that I am in, this is my purpose. This is my calling. This open, honest, (in a perfect world) witty type of writing is what I am supposed to be doing. You know how I know? Because a little over a year ago I sat down to write my second book. I have an outline, several details for each chapter, the path I want to go, and still somehow very few words came out, even after months and months of prayer and attempts at writing. However, no less than 15-20 blog post ideas hit me within a 6 month period of time. Not a very big number in general, but quite a large one when you think about the fact that I was all but ignoring my blog, and the sneaking suspicion within me that I needed to instead FOCUS on it.
Well, that's it in a nutshell. I, Crystle Carrick, am committing to this blog thing. It isn't necessarily going to be easy, it's surely not going to be convenient, but I do feel so strongly that it is important, and it is time.
"Comparison is the thief of joy." - Theodore Roosevelt
I think one of the greatest things that has held me back from not holding back (see what I did there?), is that I'm afraid. I'm worried my words won't measure up against the millions of other bloggers out there. I'm worried that I'll never break those follower landmark numbers. I'm worried that these things matter more to me that the fact that I feel led to write this. I don't think comparison by itself is what robs us of our joy - I think it's the fear that we cling to when we compare and feel we don't measure up. Truthfully, the other side is probably doing the same thing between them and someone else, I mean there's always someone more talented, right? But you know what? When dealing with purpose and life's calling, it doesn't matter what they look like. It only matters that I obey. The rest of what happens is out of my control.
"...Who knows if perhaps you were brought here for just such a time as this?" - Esther 4:14b
This verse has been resonating in my heart and mind for a couple of weeks, perhaps a month. And it is what lit the spark that was eventually fanned into flame to sit down and make this blog a reality.
The thing is, it's not our job to know why we are called to certain purposes, or brought through certain seasons. It's our job to follow through, and trust that the arrows are hitting the targets they're meant to. In my case, those arrows are words. I've kind of been doing 'mini blogging' on my Instagram page, because let's face it, I have a lot of words, and I enjoy getting them out. And so, a lot of my posts are NOT short, and are kind of "deep," for lack of better term. And sure, I've thought about just taking those words and transferring them over here instead, but I haven't. I just wasn't sure if they'd hit a mark. And then I put myself through the rigorous over-thinking process once they were out there. Was that post stupid? Was it sappy? Should I write shorter things? blah, blah, blah.
I got more and more worked up over this until one day at church a sweet friend of mine came up to me and out of the blue told me how much she loves my posts. Then she took it one step further. It wasn't my incredibly aesthetic photos (JOKING, I actually take terrible IG pics), but my WORDS. She actually said she loved my words! Um, hi, I literally almost cried. To a writer, that is the biggest compliment and/or encouragement you can give, and here she was, completely organically, pouring out just exactly what I needed to hear. This isn't to boast, but simply to pose the question: what if I'd given into my insecurities and stopped writing even those IG posts? What if I believed the lie that my words didn't matter? That noone was reading them? Then I wouldn't be having this incredibly life changing chat, and I wouldn't have known that indeed, this IS what I'm meant to be doing. For now? Forever? I don't know, exactly. But in this moment I am, and in this moment I will, and that is all that matters.
To make a short story long, nothing happens by chance. We don't get dreams for no reason. They may not always come to full fruition - at least what we think full fruition looks like - but that doesn't mean they don't serve a purpose. They're meant to keep us moving forward. When we move forward, we are effective - you know, that whole rock in the pond thing. And when we are effective in what we have been uniquely called to, we are fulfilling the purpose for which we've been brought to this season. For me, it's writing. Blogging, and hopefully continued authoring, but writing just the same. What is it for you? I hope that this rambling girl can put out the message that it matters. YOU matter. And YOU are called for such a time as this. Step out, take that chance, make that change. get started in that forward motion, and I will be here, cheering you on.
Let's be honest here - I'm an author. Well, an aspiring author. Technically, a one-time, self-published, hoping-for-more, aspiring author. And this type of writing (blogging), which I feel like I'm supposed to working on is a lot different than the type of writing I'd like to be working on (fiction/novels). And it's way more difficult. After all, if you read enough books - campy, trendy, thrilling, uber-formulaic novels or true classics - if you read enough, you can write a work of fiction. It might not be a NYT best seller, but you can probably plug in one formula or another and, if you see it all the way through, have a finished story.
Non-fiction is different, especially when it's real life and personal. "Bloggers" these days have to be witty, clever, up-to-date on lingo, good writers or at least able to mimic them, and above all - vulnerable. My least. favorite. word. And yet, here I am. The few posts I have managed to get published have been, for the most part, raw, real, gut-wrenching (for me), and basically the opposite of everything I prefer. Like, what the heck? I don't want to expose it all! I'm all in for avoiding TMI other than a VERY close group of friends, so why on earth would I choose this blogger life and open up for the world to read my heart?
"Because." That's the answer to this very real, very heart-felt question of mine. Because. I'm a firm believer that we are called to certain unique purposes, and although they may change with the different seasons of our lives, it doesn't make them any less ours to fulfill. And for some odd reason, for this season of life that I am in, this is my purpose. This is my calling. This open, honest, (in a perfect world) witty type of writing is what I am supposed to be doing. You know how I know? Because a little over a year ago I sat down to write my second book. I have an outline, several details for each chapter, the path I want to go, and still somehow very few words came out, even after months and months of prayer and attempts at writing. However, no less than 15-20 blog post ideas hit me within a 6 month period of time. Not a very big number in general, but quite a large one when you think about the fact that I was all but ignoring my blog, and the sneaking suspicion within me that I needed to instead FOCUS on it.
Well, that's it in a nutshell. I, Crystle Carrick, am committing to this blog thing. It isn't necessarily going to be easy, it's surely not going to be convenient, but I do feel so strongly that it is important, and it is time.
"Comparison is the thief of joy." - Theodore Roosevelt
I think one of the greatest things that has held me back from not holding back (see what I did there?), is that I'm afraid. I'm worried my words won't measure up against the millions of other bloggers out there. I'm worried that I'll never break those follower landmark numbers. I'm worried that these things matter more to me that the fact that I feel led to write this. I don't think comparison by itself is what robs us of our joy - I think it's the fear that we cling to when we compare and feel we don't measure up. Truthfully, the other side is probably doing the same thing between them and someone else, I mean there's always someone more talented, right? But you know what? When dealing with purpose and life's calling, it doesn't matter what they look like. It only matters that I obey. The rest of what happens is out of my control.
"...Who knows if perhaps you were brought here for just such a time as this?" - Esther 4:14b
This verse has been resonating in my heart and mind for a couple of weeks, perhaps a month. And it is what lit the spark that was eventually fanned into flame to sit down and make this blog a reality.
The thing is, it's not our job to know why we are called to certain purposes, or brought through certain seasons. It's our job to follow through, and trust that the arrows are hitting the targets they're meant to. In my case, those arrows are words. I've kind of been doing 'mini blogging' on my Instagram page, because let's face it, I have a lot of words, and I enjoy getting them out. And so, a lot of my posts are NOT short, and are kind of "deep," for lack of better term. And sure, I've thought about just taking those words and transferring them over here instead, but I haven't. I just wasn't sure if they'd hit a mark. And then I put myself through the rigorous over-thinking process once they were out there. Was that post stupid? Was it sappy? Should I write shorter things? blah, blah, blah.
I got more and more worked up over this until one day at church a sweet friend of mine came up to me and out of the blue told me how much she loves my posts. Then she took it one step further. It wasn't my incredibly aesthetic photos (JOKING, I actually take terrible IG pics), but my WORDS. She actually said she loved my words! Um, hi, I literally almost cried. To a writer, that is the biggest compliment and/or encouragement you can give, and here she was, completely organically, pouring out just exactly what I needed to hear. This isn't to boast, but simply to pose the question: what if I'd given into my insecurities and stopped writing even those IG posts? What if I believed the lie that my words didn't matter? That noone was reading them? Then I wouldn't be having this incredibly life changing chat, and I wouldn't have known that indeed, this IS what I'm meant to be doing. For now? Forever? I don't know, exactly. But in this moment I am, and in this moment I will, and that is all that matters.
To make a short story long, nothing happens by chance. We don't get dreams for no reason. They may not always come to full fruition - at least what we think full fruition looks like - but that doesn't mean they don't serve a purpose. They're meant to keep us moving forward. When we move forward, we are effective - you know, that whole rock in the pond thing. And when we are effective in what we have been uniquely called to, we are fulfilling the purpose for which we've been brought to this season. For me, it's writing. Blogging, and hopefully continued authoring, but writing just the same. What is it for you? I hope that this rambling girl can put out the message that it matters. YOU matter. And YOU are called for such a time as this. Step out, take that chance, make that change. get started in that forward motion, and I will be here, cheering you on.
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Keep writing. For me, it's such a healthy outlet. Hidden wounds are being healed as I expose them with the written word. I had hoped to help others with my story. Personal healing is my bonus!
ReplyDeleteIt’s so true, there really is such a return of healing when we open up! Thank you for the encouragement! ❤️
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