Laughing at My Future

Right now it is just after one in the morning, making us officially an hour into Father's Day. And just a few hours ago, it had been officially been 6 weeks since my father, my daddy, left us and went to be with our Heavenly Father. 6 of the shortest, as well as longest, weeks of my life. To be honest, it's a lot to deal with sometimes, even now. And yet, as I sit here in this moment, I'm not overcome with tears and grief, but rather with peace; even more so, with a certain thankfulness in my heart that cannot be explained, and definitely cannot be removed. I've been wondering for the last couple of weeks about this first Father's Day without my daddy - how it would feel, how I would do. And of course it will be different a bit I'm sure, as I go to bed, wake up, and actually start the day. But for now, I'm good, and I'm glad. I had a minor breakdown in Target the other day, while looking through the Father's Day cards. My sister and I were pickin...

As the clock stuck twelve tonight and the date became the 4th of June, so came with it the one month mark since my father, my hero, my daddy, finished his battle with cancer and went to be with The Lord. I still, most of the time, cannot believe it's really true. Some days I feel like I'm really moving on, moving forward, healing somewhat. Other days I'm a wreck. Every last thing reminds me of him and I can hardly function because of how much I miss him. I'm so grateful for the undercurrent of peace that is constantly flowing in my life - the one that rushes in behind the waves of grief and helps to calm and soothe my aching heart. I know that God has a plan, and my faith in Him is unwavering, but I am still hurting, plain and simple. And so, one month later, I offer you a piece of my heart. I hope that soon, the ravings and musings you read on this blog will be filled with hilarity that I really do get to experience every day with my amazing family, but for now I must ...